Sometimes I read my Bible and say, "Man, were God's people screw-ups." But that's the beauty of The Bible, isn't it? that we know that there is not a single perfect person in there (Well, except for Jesus Christ, God himself, but you get my freaking point.) and although these people tried to live for God everyday, they just couldn't get their stuff together.
So here is my list of people that you didn't know or probably did not really think of them this way because you were too busy eating all those dang cookies from the table in Sunday school, you fat lard. (I'm joking.)
- Noah! Ah yes, need an ark? I NOAH guy! get it? sorry. But ah yes, Noah, the man that heard the voice of God, built an ark to save his family and everyone who wanted to save themselves from the World and its perverse ways, preached for 100 years of the coming flood, and made his very own song so that Sunday school kids could sing along while people outside drowned was a drunk after the flood!
According to Genesis 9:20-25, Noah "... began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard: And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent..."
so there you have it! A man who heard the voice of God and got drunk until he dropped wasn't perfect, in another verse it even says God found Noah the only just man in the planet! I just hope Noah doesn't drink and steer that ark!
- David! We all know David, right?
"BOOM! Headshot! You've taken the lead! .. lost the lead. decapitation! You've taken the lead! Game over." Sorry, I got carried away by the Halo reference I made. But yes, David was the psalmist who single-handedly killed Goliath and killed ten-thousands of philistines , wrestled bears and lions when they were a threat to his sheep, wrote the book of Psalms, and danced for the Lord with all of his heart! He was close to God's very own heart for crying out loud!
But as this post suggests, no man is without faults and David isn't. He was accused of Murder AND Adultery, at the time, David had seen Bathsheba taking a little splish splash, saw her naked, and decided to call her over to his house and well, had an affair with her, later finding out she already had a husband, Uriah the Hittite. (oops)
After finding this out, David suggested to Uriah that he should rest in his house and with his wife (possibly wanting Uriah to lay with Bathsheba so that if she were to show pregnant, David wouldn't be the one to blame.) After multiple times that Uriah denied the offer, David decided to send Uriah back to battle with a letter to his commander strictly giving the commander order from David himself to put Uriah in the front lines, to have him killed. Dang, and I thought Roach and Ghost's death from Modern Warfare 2 were sad. Well, I still do, it's just.. never mind.
- Jonah! In the belly of the whale, How long is this gonna take? I don't want a belly ache, How long is this gonna take? ah childhood memories. This guy. Wow. You're a prophet and you hear the voice of God telling you to go to a city that is basically Las Vegas, Ciudad Juarez, and New York put together, you've gone to multiple cities before but you won't go to this one because they stole your wallet, and they have expensive cheese-curls, what do you do? Not freaking turn back from God, dummy! What's wrong with you? Well this is what this guy did.
After heading the opposite direction where God had told him to go a storm comes and Jonah is forced to jump into the water not knowing how to swim (should have taken those free swimming lessons in elementary) and is swallowed by what the Bible calls, "a giant fish" (by the way, if anyone knows, what kind of fish was it? a whale? let me know in the comments below! we can discuss this) and after three days of being in its belly, Jonah is then puked out unto the shore by the creature, heading in that direction, Jonah finally comes to Nineveh and tells the people about the warning God had sent, the people repented and God did not destroy them! And everyone lived happily ever after! Right? except no..
- Peter! Last but not least is Peter, this guy has so much density in head throughout Jesus' ministry I almost want to slap a picture of his face on the definition of density in the dictionary. But the densest move on his part that makes him the most memorable to almost all Christians is when he denies his BFF, JC! Not once! Not twice! But thrice, dudes!
how would you feel if you had this friend which you knew they had your back and you had theirs, hung out with you every single day with you, and laughed with you, one day ran away from helping you because you got in trouble with some kids at school? Then denied you in front of everyone at school? The worst part? You KNEW that he would betray you sooner or later? Well, Peter did exactly that, but why do I call him a redeemed screw-up of the Bible? because his redemption of that mistake, his ministry was spectacular and each of the books he's written are very much what every Christian should know.
That wraps up my first post! I hope you all enjoy it, please let me know how I did in the comment section below and let's discuss some of the people I didn't mention! Who is YOUR favorite Bible screw-up and why? Thanks so much and God Bless! Albert signing off!
